Tag Archives: Family

The Memorial, and a Few Lighter Notes

I absolutely meant to write here last week, but it has taken me some time to process the events of the last ten days or so.

Fran’s memorial was a little over a week ago, and of course it was bittersweet. We were overwhelmed with the amount of people who made it out to a fairly isolated lake in Ohio to celebrate her life. She touched so many people in her too-few years on this earth. I was so proud of D and his sister for the beautiful and eloquent things they were able to say in front of everyone, and so thankful that his step-sister and her fiancé (my very good high school friend) were able to attend. We definitely needed the support. My parents also came, and of course D’s father (which I know was difficult for him.)

We rented a boat in the morning with D’s sister and her husband, his aunt and her three children, and his grandmother (Fran’s mom.) We each laid a rose on her pressed-paper urn and D and his sister placed it in the water together. It was so touching and serene in that moment, yet so difficult to really say goodbye.

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I think D has more closure now, but as executor of her will he often feels overwhelmed. There are so many things to take care of when a parent passes away that it becomes difficult to really grieve the loss. For me at least, when I was helping to plan the memorial I still felt as if I was in service to her; she seemed like she was still here in a way. I had a pretty difficult emotional crash early last week and had to do something I rarely do–ask a friend for help. My best friend here, we’ll call her Kay, came over the night I needed her and was really there for me. We sat outside with our dogs and just talked about everything. She is also going through treatment for infertility, and just received a PCOS diagnosis as well. In addition to that, her husband’s father passed away a little over a year ago.

When I think about all of the good people I know who have had such awful things happen to them, I really have a hard time wrapping my mind around it. Five of our very close friends have lost a parent in the past four years. Every one of those friends though are some of the strongest, most resilient people we have met.

When I started writing this, I didn’t mean for it to be so heavy, but I suppose that’s where my heart is right now. On a lighter note, we enjoyed a very relaxing and fun weekend with D’s step-sister and her fiancé. We rented bikes for them and all rode down to see the Pirates lose in typical Pirates fashion, had a delicious meal of grilled salmon and truffled cauliflower mash, and quite a bit of white wine (oops, I totally cheated. But she’s a wine rep and was sharing so much delicious vino!)

Oh, and one more week until our official Let’s-Get-This-IVF-Business-Started appointment! I wonder what my $500 AMH test results are…fingers crossed.

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